I HAD MADE UP MY MIND

Thank you. You made me realize many things. Realize that i'm really that useless, stupid, childish, immature. I got the answer for my questions, so i think there is no more issues between us. If i got think of any, then i will tell you,k? I felt very happy. Finally i can talk to you again. Can joke with you, laugh with you. Do you know how much i miss it?^_^.. I will put everything in my heart and mind. I will change. Change from NOBODY to SOMEBODY. I bet you heard this before,right?haha.. I'm serious about it. I want to achieve my dreams. I want to be with you again. Want to love you again. Want to protect you. Want to be the person that support you in everything you do. Want to be much better than before. Want to make you happy. Want your tears drop down because of i made you happy, not because of i made you sad. Want to bring you go all around the world. Want you to be the luckiest person ever in this world. These are my dreams. It's all about you. So in order to achieve it, I hope you're the one that will always beside me to charge me up when i'm feeling down. I want you to lead me. I want to share everything with you. No matter how difficult it is, i will never give up again. I also hope that we can have our first meeting a.s.a.p so that i can start changing my life.

I wish to attend all the event, but sometimes i'm lazy for it,because need to wear formal. I know it is a must as we look more professional wearing formal. But i still haven't suit with that kind of life. I still not feeling comfortable with it although i felt that wearing formal attire make me look smarter than wearing casual,haha. Give me some time to adapt with it. You must know that my attire for my daily routine is sport attire, so if suddenly want me to wear formal, i need some little time to get used of it. Sometimes i will back to my childish and playful attitude. So i hope you will tell me nicely if i did something i'm not suppose to do. Only you know how to control me. About the basic camp, i will think of it. I hope if i go, you're there too. Next V-CON, i will put in my schedule too, but can't promise anything yet. Cause i scare i will have tournament during that time.

Sometimes when you see me in silence, means i don't want to talk, i got nothing to talk or maybe i'm boring. I could be very very passive or very very active. It depends on what situation i'm in. When you see me silence, it means i'm in my passive mode. If you see me talk and laugh, that time i'm in active mode. So i hope you could see when is my passive time, and when is my active time.

You was my greatest inspirations. I had made up my mind. Will work hard to achieve all my dreams. Hope you will be looking at me during this period.

HEAL THE WORLD

spoken:
Think about the generations and to say we want to make it a better
world for our children and our children's children. So that they know
it's a better world for them; and think if they can make it a better
place.


There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow.
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow.
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.


If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares for joyful giving.
If we try we shall see
In this bliss we cannot feel
Fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
Make a better world, make a better world.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race.
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.

Bridge:
And the dream we would conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify it's soul
Though it's plain to see, this world is heavenly
Be God's glow.


We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel
You are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears
See the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares
We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space to make a better place.

Chorus:
Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for
You and for me.

Refrain (2x)


There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me.
There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me.

You and for me / Make a better place
You and for me / Make a better place
You and for me / Make a better place
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children
You and for me / Heal the world we live in
You and for me / Save it for our children

SHOULD I TRUST THIS???

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

05082008 - 05082009

It has been a year knowing you. I enjoyed my time with you. I will remember every single memories that we had been through together. I know that these past 2 months we were in a hard time. We are not that close anymore. We both know why. I wish I can tell you what i feel right now, but I know you wouldn't want to listen. I wish that we can be like what we used to be before. I really miss those precious moments. UNFORGETTABLE MOMENTS. I will look forward for 05082010 and I hope we can celebrate it together. You will always in my heart. Thanks for everything. I hope that you can share your things with me again. Cos i always wanna know what's happening on you. I pray that we will back to the life we used to be together. And I wont give up or stop praying, cos once I stop, I will lost everything. I will fight for it and hope that my prayer will become a reality. Wish you happy always, take a good care and good luck for everything you do!

I WANT TO GET SOME REST BUT AT THE SAME TIME I STILL LOVE YOU

Don't know why these few days i keep thinking about you, maybe is because i have nothing to do, so my mind wanna bring back those memories to me. I rather choose to make myself busy rather than thinking of you, cos i know when i start to do it, i will send some stupid messages to you. And it will make you getting far far away from me. Breaking up with you was like a nightmare for me. I wish that i can wake up and everything will be fine again. But somehow it doesn't happen like what i wish to be. During these few days, after been talking to some friends, i had made a decision and i will stick to it. " YOU WILL BE MY ONLY ONE AND YOU WILL BE THE QUEEN OF MY HEART FOREVER. IN MY HEART, YOU STILL IS MY LOVER, I DON'T CARE HOW YOU GONNA FORCE ME, I WILL STICK ON MY DECISION, YOU STILL IS MY LOVER FROM LAST TIME TILL NOW!!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started feeling sick and tired with my life here. Seems like there is no hope and direction. Is it breaking up with you really change me a lot?? I don't have any idea. I just wish that i can go somewhere and start my life again. I don't want to be an actress anymore. I don't want to have 2 different people in me. I want you to know,only want to talk and share everything to you, but will you give me a chance to talk?? I HATE MYSELF, I HATE MY LIFE! I WISH I CAN WALK AWAY AND LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND. Do you know how suffer i am? Need to pretend/ act differently from what im feeling now just to hide my real feeling? Be honest, there is no one in this world that know exactly what im thinking, understand most of my particular, attitude and so on. I hope there is someone, that someone is you, but i guess you already throw everything out of your mind....................................................................

8TH OF JULY

8th of July...

It should be our 11 months anniversary if we didn't broke up. I don't know you still care about this date or not, but for me it still very important although we are not couple anymore. Last sunday (5th of july) is the 11 months we know each other. Don't know you still remember how we get to know each other. There are so many things that i wanna tell you, but i know you are not interested to hear it. A day without your call, your message, your laughter and everything about you was like living in an empty world. I missed the time when we talk on the phone, missed the time i called you and ask what should i eat, missed the time you worry about me when im hurt / sick, missed the time you feed me eat medicine, miss to hug you, miss to walk at the beach while holding your hand, missed the time we went out together, missed the moment i gave you that very special things in SG. Wang, missed the time we celebrate some special occasions together and i missed everything that we had gone through together.

Eventhough you had rejected me, it won't stop me from loving you. I'll wait for you. Say me crazy, say me stubborn, say me stupid, just say me whatever you want, it doesn't matter. Because this is my decision. I choose to be stupid, to be crazy, to be blind, to be everything because I LOVE YOU. There is only you in my heart. Thanks for hurting me so badly, coz it teach me a lot of things. Teach me the meaning of LOVE, APPRECIATION, DETERMINATION and so on. Im trying to change myself for a better life, and of cause is because of you too although i know you might not come back to me no matter how i change. I'm sorry for hurting you too. I know i'm not as good as your current lover ( I know who is that person ). But i hope you will appreciate those things that i had done for you.

P/S : Im sorry for breaking my promise. I don't know how to tell you my feeling, so blog is the only ways for me to tell you everything. Although it was quite late, but at least i'll feel better after writing it down.

LOVE STORY

Girl: Do you really love me?
Boy: Of course I do.
Girl: I wanna hear you say it.
Boy: I don’t have to.
Girl: Why not?
Boy: Because...
Girl: I just want to hear you say it in words.
Boy: I can’t...
The girl started to cry softly and said:
Then you don't love me...
The two continued to walk in silence. They
reached the girls home.
Girl: Why?
Boy: Do you really want to know?
Girl: (hesitantly) Yes.
He hugged her gently, kissed the tip of her nose
and whispered in her ear,
"Because three words are not enough..."

SAD LOVE STORY 2

(A girl and guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle)
Girl: Slow
down. Im scared.
Guy: No this is fun.
Girl: No its not. Please, its to scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
(Girl hugs him)
Guy: Can u take my helmet off and put it on? Its bugging me.

In the paper the next day: A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on the motorcycle, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him, felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so she would live even though it meant he would die.

SAD LOVE STORY

There was this guy who believed very much in true love and decided to take his time to wait for his right girl to appear. He believed that there would definitely be someone special out there for him, but none came.

Every year at Christmas, his ex-girlfriend would return from Vancouver to look him up. He was aware that she still held some hope of re-kindling the past romance with him. He did not wish to mislead her in any way. So he would always get one of his girl friends to pose as his steady whenever she came back. That went on for several years and each year, the guy would get a different girl to pose as his romantic interest. So whenever the ex-girlfriend came to visit him, she would be led into believing that it was all over between her and the guy. The girl took all those rather well, often trying to casually tease him about his different girlfriends, or so, as it seemed! In fact, the girl often wept in secret whenever she saw him with another girl, but she was too proud to admit it. Still, every Christmas, she returned, hoping to re-kindle some form of romance. But each time, she returned to Vancouver feeling disappointed.

Finally she decided that she could not play that game any longer. Therefore, she confronted him and professed that after all those years, he was still the only man that she had ever loved. Although the guy knew of her feelings for him, he was still taken back and have never expected her to react that way. He always thought that she would slowly forget about him over time and come to terms that it was all over between them. Although he was touched by her undying love for him and wanted so much to accept her again, he remembered why he rejected her in the first place-she was not the one he wanted. So he hardened his heart and turned her down cruelly. Since then, three years have passed and the girl never return anymore. They never even wrote to each other. The guy went on with his life..... still searching for the one but somehow deep inside him, he missed the girl.

On the Christmas of 1995, he went to his friend's party alone. "Hey, how come all alone this year? Where are all your girlfriends? What happened to that Vancouver babe who joins you every Christmas?", asked one of his friend. He felt warm and comforted by his friend's queries about her, still he just surged on.
Then, he came upon one of his many girlfriends whom he once requested to pose as his steady. He wanted so much to ignore her ..... not that he was impolite, but because at that moment, he just didn't feel comfortable with those girlfriends anymore. It was almost like he was being judged by them. The girl saw him and shouted across the floor for him. Unable to avoid her, he went up to acknowledge her.

"Hi......how are you? Enjoying the party?" the girl asked.

"Sure.....yeah!", he replied.
She was slightly tipsy..... must be from the whiskey on her hand. She continued,
"Why...? Don't you need someone to pose as your girlfriend this year?" Then he answered, "No, there is no need for that anymore......"
Before he can continue, he was interrupted, "Oh yes! Must have found a girlfriend! You haven't been searching for one for the past years, right?" The man looked up, as if he has struck gold, his face beamed and looked directly at the drunken girl. He replied, "Yes......you are right! I haven't been looking for anyone for the past years."
With that, the man darted across the floor and out the door, leaving the lady in much bewilderment. He finally realized that he has already found his dream girl, and she was.....the Vancouver girl all along! The drunken lady has said something that awoken him.

All along he has found his girl. That was why he did not bother to look further when he realized she was not coming back. It was not any specific girl he was seeking! It was perfection that he wanted, and yes.....perfection!!
Relationship is something both parties should work on. Realizing that he had let away someone so important in his life, he decided to call her immediately. His whole mind was flooded with fear. He was afraid that she might have found someone new or no longer had the same feelings anymore..... For once, he felt the fear of losing someone.

As it was Christmas eve, the line was quite hard to get through, especially an overseas call. He tried again and again, never giving up. Finally, he got through......precisely at 1200 midnight. He confessed his love for her and the girl was moved to tears. It seemed that she never got over him! Even after so long, she was still waiting for him, never giving up.

He was so excited to meet her and to begin his new chapter of their lives. He decided to fly to Vancouver to join her. It was the happiest time of their lives! But their happy time was short-lived. Two days before he was supposed to fly to Vancouver, he received a call from her father. She had a head-on car collision with a drunken driver. She passed away after 6 hours in a coma.
The guy was devastated, as it was a complete loss. Why did fate played such cruel games with him? He cursed the heaven for taking her away from him, denying even one last look at her! How cruel he cursed! How he damned the Gods...!! How he hated himself....for taking so long to realize his mistake!! That was in 1996.

The moral of this story is :
Treasure what you have...
Time is too slow for those who wait;
Too swift for those who fear;
Too long for those who grief;
Too short for those who rejoice;
But for those who love...
Time is Eternity.

For all you out there with someone special in your heart, cherish that person, cherish every moment that you spend together that special someone, for in life, anything can happen anytime. You may painfully regret, only to realise that it is too late.

nothing to say

have been silent for awhile.
i still writing blog,
but not in here.
it was in my new blog.
what i had wrote here i will just leave it like that.
some post i had saved it to draft for some reasons.
better dun ask me why..
will seldom update my blog..
new blog..
http://royaljanfeenzy.blogspot.com/

I'm back!!!

Huh,after a long tiring journey,finally im back,hehe..

I woke up around 5.15am,clean my room,and prepare for my flight.

6am that cab uncle come and fetch me,together with 2 sabahan students.

They going back sabah too..

But im in KLIA,they in LCCT...

There are many prob that occur..

First, stuff that im bringing back exceed the limit weight.

Limit is 20kg,but mine is 25kg..

Huh..

I paid RM75 for the extra 5kg..

Then when im going for boarding,the gate is C27.

I never been to gate C,so a bit losing my way when going there.

Luckily there is one family that going to gate C too,

So i followed them.

Gate C is in another terminal.

Usually is for International Flight.

I took the train for my first time.

The train connect the main terminal and the international terminal building.

I almost lost my way,coz i cant find the C27gate.

Keep searching for the signboard and at last i found it..

10minutes left before departure time.

I was getting nervous.

I was scared that i will miss my flight.

And for the first time,i heard my name being announced for my flight.

Luckily im not the only one that late,there are few more people..

Hehe..

When im in the cabin,it took few mins before i reach my seat 37A.

I love to choose a seat that near the window..

Before departure,the head cabin crew made some announcement.

Then an announcement in japanese.

Huh,this time im getting nervous,am i in the wrong flight?

It couldnt be..

After few more announcement being made,

I realize that im in an international flight that going to Japan and stop at KK.

No wonder some of the announcement were announce in Japanese.

The plane B777 depart on 9.15am,and reach KKIA on 11.30am.

Dad and mom were waiting for me.

After i took my bag,we went to eat before going back to kudat.

I don't have appetite to eat,maybe im too tired..

I just eat a bit.

Around 1.30pm we going back.

I sleep all the way home..

haha..

Reach home around 5.45pm....

balik uitm selepas cuti

hari ni balik uitm selepas menghabiskan cuti seminggu di kuantan..
walaupun x dpt menyambut chinese new year bersama keluarga,tetapi dengan kehadiran keluarga chian membuatkan saya berasa seperti dengan keluarga sendiri..
sebelum balik,mak dia pesan supaya jaga kesihatan,banyakkan makan makanan yang berkhasiat,kurangkan minum minuman seperti Coke, Pepsi,dll..
bila dah sampai uitm,byk kerja yg perlu diselesaikan..
sebelum cuti,borang pengangkutan telah dihantar tanpa kelulusan proposal,cuma dgn memo sahaja..
perasaan takut menyebelungi diri kerana takut permohonan utk pengangkutan tidak diluluskan..
harap semuanya berjalan lancar..

4th Day Of CNY

Sunway Lagoon -年初三- -3rd Day of CNY

Holiday time

Holiday..Holiday..Holiday!!!
Holidays is the day we all waiting for!
Holidays makes me away from all the stress,homework or assignment in Uni..
But of cause,it doesn't means that we should skip from completing it..
Sometimes it is nice,but sometimes i feel that it is quite boring..
don't know why..maybe is because i have nothing to do
Anyway,holiday is still a holiday..i should think of something to spend my time during holiday..
maybe i should do some revision,rather than playing games 24hours..

waiting for holiday

holiday is the day we all waiting for..
masa untuk kami berehat dan sediakan semua keperluan yang diperlukan untuk first camp nanti..
walaupun tidak sabar untuk menantikan cuti,tetapt dalam hati tetap tidak tenang..
kerana memikirkan pengangkutan untuk pergi ke bukit charakah..
sangat risau adakah permohonan kami akan diterima atau tidak..

新年快到了

新年快到了,可是我没回家，不是不想回，而是放假的时间不长..
CNY just a week,so i think semester break only i go back..
this will save more money..
而且新年前我需要很多的钱去camping..

If We Hold On Together Lyrics - Diana Ross

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
Youve come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Somebody is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and i

When we are out there in the dark
Well dream about the sun
In the dark well feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and i

Happy New Year 2009

Happy New Year to all my family, friends and lectures..
May god bless you all..

The first day in semester 2..

today is our first day in semester 2..
the first class i attend is outdoor activities..
the one i been waiting..
our lecture is Mr. Hisyam Che Mat
i wish tat i can get A for it,
n of cos from tis outdoor activities i can get many knowledge tat i never learn before